the-ice-castle: the real progenitor of ‘cool motive still…

the-ice-castle:

the real progenitor of ‘cool motive still murder’

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me, a lonely insecure lesbian: has several guys “on hold” because “what if i’m bi lol u know i could survive with a man!!”…… why do i do this to myself….. i know i’m a lesbian….. why do i keep men in my life “in case i change my mind” when they always make me uncomfortable

ohhh god dont do that. Im not judging you or anything I know I was definitely like that when I was younger but its not healthy for you or them!! when youre able to let go of the idea that you can still like men if you try hard enough youre gonna feel so much better and have an easier time accepting yourself, because even if this feels more comfortable for now its just holding you back and its so so so unhealthy especially if part of it comes from the idea that you need to be attractive to men and have male attention to be attractive or worthy (which was a HUGE part of it for me and honestly thats just straight up bad for your mental health no matter if youre a lesbian or not)

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yachi-hitoka: yachi-hitoka: hm you really have to stop treating your friends like therapists. they…

yachi-hitoka:

yachi-hitoka:

hm

you really have to stop treating your friends like therapists. they are not your therapists. you cannot bind them with the entirety of your deep set trauma and only seek them out for the alleviation of your pain (regardless of how severe your pain is!) when you give minimal return. a friendship is dual-sided, mutually beneficial. a friendship is when you listen and you reflect because you care about them. a friendship can heal you, but if all you do is neglect the needs of the other, than you are not acting as a friend. if all you do is take and expect them to take, you are not acting as a friend. really, you are acting as someone who believes that they are completely entitled to the emotional labor of someone else for free. if you want to have good friends who are there for you, be a good friend first. if you need someone to talk to, find a therapist. a therapist and a friend are not interchangeable. 

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